Chelsea turns Ajax into training dummies in 5–1 Stamford Bridge slaughter
It was supposed to be a Champions League night, but Ajax showed up to Stamford Bridge looking more like an academy team invited for friendly drills. Chelsea didn’t just win 5–1; they hosted a public humiliation that might take Ajax a whole season to recover from. If football had report cards, the Dutch side would be getting “See me after class” from UEFA by now.
From kickoff, you could sense Ajax was in trouble. By the 17th minute, Kenneth Taylor, the only Dutchman on the pitch with an English name, decided to audition for a UFC fight, chopping down Facundo Buonanotte and seeing red for his troubles. Chelsea hadn’t even started sweating yet, and Ajax were already down to ten men. Seventy-seven seconds later, Marc Guiu, just 19, buried the first goal ,and the Ajax collapse began faster than Nigerian data bundles during a rainstorm.
The real embarrassment, Guiu didn’t even keep his “youngest Chelsea scorer” record for up to half an hour before another teenager, Estevão Willian, stole it, and still found time to make Ajax’s defenders look like they were wearing house slippers. Tyrique George came off the bench to add another goal, meaning Chelsea had three teenagers scoring in one Champions League game. Ajax, once the kings of youth development, are now getting schooled by kids younger than their training cones.
Meanwhile, Wout Weghorst, yes, the same ex-Manchester United striker who couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat, somehow managed to score a consolation penalty. Ajax fans celebrated like they’d just won a trophy. But the joy lasted all of two minutes before Weghorst pulled a classic “hold my beer” move, giving away a stupid penalty at the other end. Enzo Fernández coolly tucked it in, and Ajax’s tiny comeback hopes vanished faster than Naira value on a Monday morning.
By halftime, Ajax were begging for the whistle. The Chelsea fans, ever generous, even helped translate the away fans’ abuse into English, chanting “You’re getting sacked in the morning” at Ajax boss John Heitinga. To be fair, they weren’t lying. If this performance doesn’t get him sacked, maybe he has some dirt on the Ajax board.
And if you think Chelsea needed their big names to do this damage, think again. Enzo Maresca made ten changes to his lineup and still turned Ajax into football memes. Chelsea ended the game with five teenagers on the pitch, basically a Gen Z starting XI, and still had enough energy to toy with Ajax like a cat batting a half-dead mouse.
It’s almost tragic how far Ajax has fallen. From the glory days of Van Basten, Cruyff, and that 2019 Champions League semi-final run, to being destroyed by a team that treated the match like a youth trial camp. Their defense was so confused, they probably needed Google Maps to find each other after the match.
By the end, Estevão even attempted a cheeky overhead kick that almost made it 6–1. Maybe it’s good it didn’t go in, Ajax had suffered enough. Still, Chelsea fans went home grinning, teenagers became heroes, and Ajax? They just became the latest cautionary tale in European football, a once-great club now specializing in providing confidence boosts for opponents.
